Today
by SixSeasons
Summary: Zelgadis and Lina compare their views of the world.


**Author's Notes**

Song is _Today _by Randy Sparks.

* * *

_Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine,  
I'll taste your strawberries I'll drink your sweet wine,  
A million tomorrows shall pass away,  
Ere I forget all the joy that is mine today. _

"Come on, Zel! Lighten up!" Lina gulped down another plate full of food. "Don't you know that since life's short, you should live like there's no tomorrow? You know, make the most of it? Enjoy life?"

"Really. I always heard life's a bitch and then you die."

Lina choked on her sausage. "Ooh. You are in one seriously bad mood today, aren't you? Well, if that's the way you're going to be, get lost. I don't need you moping around and bringing down my mood! Personally I'm going to live life to the fullest! Enjoy every second!"

"Live long and prosper?" The table blinked and Gourry, who, upon realizing that everyone was looking at him, took advantage of the aforementioned fact and stole the last piece of bacon.

"Lookie, Zel-kun, I'm gonna tell you exactly why you oughta enjoy what you've got!"

"Perhaps that should be enjoying what I haven't lost yet?"

"Believe it or not Zel, that's exactly what I mean. Look, you're right. Someday a dark lord will probably come and kill us all, and brainwash our children, and eat all our pets, so what can we do about it if we just mope? Everybody has to die, we know that already. But what's the point in worrying about dying if you've never even bothered to _live_? Zel, what's the point in worrying about tomorrow if you don't even acknowledge the existence of today?"

Gourry blinked. "Did she even breathe once during that entire speech?"

Amelia shook her head. "I really don't think so."

Gourry looked on in awe. "That's incredible!"

"You were supposed to be moved by my words, not by the fact that I talk fast!"

Zelgadis stood. "Well, maybe that's all fine and dandy for you Lina, but you happen to have a reason to enjoy today. I don't."

"Yes, you do! You're alive! You're healthy! You have friends, food, drink, shelter and your sanity!"

"Whoopee. I. Am. Thrilled."

"Zelgadis, you have a lot more then most people have! Some people don't have any of those things!"

"Betcha they have their humanity."

"Fine Zel, be that way. I don't care!" On that note, Lina stormed out of the restaurant, telling a frightened waiter to give Zelgadis the bill.

_I'll be a dandy and I'll be a rover,  
You'll know who I am by the songs that I'll sing,  
I'll feast at your table; I'll sleep in your clover,  
Who cares what the morrow shall bring,  
Today? _

Standing alone in a clearing, Lina scowled and muttered to herself. "Honestly, Zel. You're the one who doesn't understand. Yeah, the world is a dark and lonely place. But sometimes smiling is the only way to make life bearable. You say you've been through hell, but you've only seen the darker side of heaven." Lina kicked a stone into the pond. "I'm the only one here who saw hell. I stared it in the face, condemned myself to it, then laughed at it and turned away. And you know what Zel? I'm perfectly peachy keen fine!"

So why am I trying to convince myself that I am?

"I buy little trinkets and take the time to smell the flowers! I do as I please! I roam the world; I eat in whatever restaurant I want and I don't care what anybody thinks of me! I am free and full of joy!"

Artificial. I am so artificial. The trinkets are distractions, I roam the world 'cause I don't have a home, and I only pretend to not care what others think about me. And besides, I'm allergic to flowers.

"But so what if I'm artificial? I'm still happy! I can still go on and face tomorrow! I don't mope about today!"

_Facing_ tomorrow? It sounds like something bad that I have to defeat. And I'm not happy, I only pretend to be. It's a mask. One I wear to fool myself.

"Well, at least my mask keeps me happy most of the time!"

Gourry doesn't wear a mask. You can tell it's always him. He doesn't need one. He sees the world like I do, faces it as boldly as I do, and still doesn't need a mask. I am no better then Zel.

"But my life is still worth living and I'm going to make the most of it! I don't want to die never having lived! I won't!"

But what do I classify as living? Impossible goals, all of them. I'm going to die and never do everything I want to do. Even if I work for it for rest of my life, I'll never do it all.

"Today... what's the point of it?"

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life?"

Lina jumped to see Zelgadis standing behind her. He shrugged.

"I guess... look at me. I told you that you would get me all depressed. Thanks a lot!"

He blinked when she hit him on the head, and began to whine about her hand getting hurt. "That was stupid."

"Fine! Your turn! I told you why you shouldn't mope about, tell me why I should! Go on! I'm waiting!"

"You shouldn't."

"Make up your mind!"

Zelgadis sat down on the rock beside her. Noticing this, she sat as well. "The way I live works for me. The way I see it, the future is one of gleaming brilliance, something to relieve me from the past I've endured. That's the way I make myself go on. Yeah, I whine about today, but that's because I have my sights set on a beautiful tomorrow. One I've convinced myself is going to happen. That's just not the way you work though, Lina. Your today is your will to live. You see everyday as not as the beginning of the rest, not even as the completion of the last, but just as now. For you, you seem to forget you have a past or future, and so all you have is this very second, this very moment. That's how you go on. One second at a time... Listen to me, I'm giving worse speeches then Amelia!"

Lina looked at him quietly. "No, it was a very good speech..."

The two smiled at each other, and walked back to the inn. Each leaving with a deeper understanding of the other, a deeper understanding of the past, future and present, and each with an even stronger will to go on, for they knew that if their way ever stopped working, they'd have the other to lean on.

_I can't be contented with yesterday's glory,  
I can't live on promises, winter to spring,  
Today is my moment, Now is my story,  
I laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing... today. _


End file.
